Me - can I have a travelcard please?
Him - yeah, it’s loads of money thanks.
Me - hang on. Isn’t there one that’s MILES cheaper if I only use a certain train company?
Him - …..yeeeeah there IS. But you have to ask for it.
Me - like I did just now?
Him - ….that’ll be less money than previously asked for but STILL rather pricey considering how late & gross your train will be AND how much of a dick I am.
Me - thanks.
(Heavy emphasis on ‘thanks’ so he knows I’m on to him)
*Admittedly this war will be very low on casualties & known only to me.